Or move to Hoboken…

Smokers in New York portray themselves as a weathered yet feisty bunch in TV interviews concerning the subject. Most have been vociferous in their disdain of the new law. They have referred to Mayor Bloomberg as everyone from Saddam to Stalin. While comparisons to murderous dictators themselves may be extreme, the context of socialism is not. Ultimately most smokers, even those who classify themselves as "social smokers", feel they have lost a basic freedom to do something they have always done as second nature: Drink and smoke.

But some men, even those that don’t normally partake in the habit, are using the ban to their advantage. But more on that in a paragraph or two…

When it comes to meeting women, let’s face it: Most guys talk a good game before going out with their buddies. Some even try to alter history after the fact by taking pictures with female bartenders to try to make it appear they actually got some kind of action.

Oftentimes in the end, the night consists of the following dubious cycle:
a)   Arrive at bar with friends
b)   Engage in benign cocktail talk with said friends while standing in a sealed off circle
c)   Evaluate girls from a distance
d)   Get over served with shots and beer until fear of rejection is erased from the system
e)   Approach girl and speak in very basic terms while trying to overcome noisy environment
f)   Attempt to obtain number
g)   Call six days later (or if masochism is your thing, call the next day)

For some to arrive at point "d," it takes the three words men never like to hear: time, money and effort. In some cases it may even take an entire evening. By the time point "e" comes to fruition, the only girls left to converse with are those with names like Maggie, Alice and Betsy (never in my life have a met a female owning that name who weighs less than I do). So how does a guy expedite the process while creating an isolated, quieter environment to meet a quality girl?

Call Joe Camel, of course…

Sure there are the long-term hazards and reeking fingers, hair and breath to consider when starting smoking just to get laid. But if it means assisting in meeting someone outside a bar with those very same health and scent issues, then light ‘em up.

"I’ve already hooked up twice with girls after initially meeting them outside bars after they banned smoking," claims Brad, 28. "There’s something even more rebellious now about doing it. It’s as if we (smokers) are oppressed and share that oppression as our common bond. It’s kind of like a badge of honor"

"So these girls aren’t ones you would necessarily approach inside the bar?" I asked.

"Maybe…depends on how drunk I get," he chuckled. "But the funny thing is about the two girls I met is that I started talking to both outside early in the night, before that undefined time you normally talk to random girls. In both cases I was actually fairly sober. It seems once I get outside now, there always is a small group of girls smoking. From there, it’s so easy to start a conversation."

I just shook my head. Brad seemed to be rolling now.

"The second girl I met I didn’t really speak to the first time we were outside because I was a bit intimidated…great body, perfect jugs. So my plan was to time my cigarette breaks outside to coincide with hers. Well, after a few times I ran out of butts, so I had to bum one off of her. I promised her a drink in return. That became five drinks and one back at my apartment."

"So by the end of the night did she continue to illustrate an oral fixation?" was my closing question.

His mischievous smile and wink was my answer. No word on whether she kept the change. Or if Brad is an advocate of reciprocity…

So was Bloomberg—a former smoker—justified in morphing New York into California? Will Mayor Roberts do likewise in his quest to become Giuliani West?

We may never really be able to calculate how many lives or dollars from smaller cleaning bills will be saved. But if more men and women smokers are meeting outside of bars and eventually procreating as a result, the question won’t be how many lives are saved, but how many are accidentally created.

Joe Concha writes a weekly column for NBCSports.com and a feature writer for Hobokeni.com He has saved an estimated $50,000.00 for never starting smoking, but has lost approximately $92,000.00 due to an affinity for bourbon.