The newest Animal House wanna-be flick, Old School, threatens to break the $150 million mark after coming out on video this week despite generally average reviews. According to one critic, "The plot of thirtysomething year old men getting together to relive their college years by creating an on-campus adult fraternity, even by Hollywood standards, is impossible to believe."

Obviously, this columnist has never been to the Jersey Shore in summer...

Because if he had made such a trip, it would be apparent that there are plenty of real life pseudo co-ed fraternities proliferating in Hoboken South communities such as Spring Lake, Sea Girt and Long Beach Island. The most surprising aspect of most of these summer frat houses is that those born before (gasp) 1973 are becoming the growing majority of renters.

To the under-30 crowd, the decision to live such a blasphemous lifestyle filled with alcohol, random trysts and air mattresses may seem "pathetic," as one post-1973 friend coldly stated upon hearing about my plans for yet another summer house with twenty of my old and newfound friends.

"The fact that you’re 32, still doing beach houses, getting drunk and stumbling home from the Parker House (a Sea Girt-based watering hole) is pretty pathetic," were her exact words.

If you told me at age 25 that I would still be doing the shore house thing at 32, I would say you were drunk, high, or pathetic also. Beach houses are allegedly for the just-out-of college crowd looking to extend campus life a few more years while attempting to figure out exactly what to do with that whole reality thing.

Who knew this discovery process would last a decade?

For some, the summer of 2003 marks the 10th anniversary of renting shore houses. Is there a difference between the first few summers and now?

"Somehow, getting so drunk you can't stand, kissing random boys, and dancing on the bar doesn't have the same charm as a 32-year-old attorney as it did as a 25-year-old law student!" explains Mary Smith (Name was changed to protect the (not so) innocent. ed.), a single lawyer and Sea Girt renter. "I thought I was done, but obviously that wasn't the case!"

So the questions are simple: Are singles aged 30 and over that rent shore houses for entire seasons while intentionally getting overserved from Memorial Day to Labor Day…pathetic? Or should they be considered geniuses for avoiding the ultimate social sacrifice that accompanies an existence of being married with children?

According to 33-year old shore veteran Brian Bopp, the perception of the road to what was once the American dream is fairly black and white:
"Marriage equals death. Why grow up? You grow up, you get old, you die. No thanks."

The candid simplicity of Bopp’s thought process is emblematic of many pseudo-geriatrics doing the beach thing. The issue appears to be a lack of a tangible alternative during the summer.

"Every time I think I have to stop this, the sun comes out and I am relaxing on the beach. What could be better than this?" Cheryl Russo, 33, of Hoboken and Sea Girt asks. "Until I have a good answer to this question, I will be doing this--Besides if I am not here and am in the same single state I am in now, what should I do, sit home? NO WAY."

Researchers found in 2002 that those with a positive attitude to aging live an average of seven and a half years longer than those who worry over every new wrinkle and gray hair. According to a team of American psychologists, part of the reason is thought to be that feeling pessimistic about growing old saps a person's will to live.

Since 9/11, a certain apathy has manifested towards consequences of one's actions, and that thought process has now replaced a once-cautious younger generation. An adverse effect in and around New York has planted a small seed in the back of all of our minds that the adventures of being young and alive could be thwarted by one dirty bomb at any second. As a result, "Live for the moment" is the hip, new mantra.

The rush to live a established, mature, normal life filled with picket fences and Little League games is something most of us want someday, but someday has gone from starting in our mid-twenties...
To late twenties...
To early thirties...
To mid-thirties...
To...

As males, perhaps we learn from our athletic heroes that reaching 40 doesn’t mean it’s time to stop acting like Little Leaguers. At 40, Roger Clemens continues to blow away batters with 95-mph fastballs. Even now Jerry Rice can make a defensive back look slow in the secondary. Scott Stevens is still the most feared player in hockey. Michael Jordan showed he could still dominate a game. We see these future Hall-Of-Famers and think, "Why stop doing what we love now?"

Females see a four-decade-young Demi Moore looking better than they do and maybe think, "With botox, boob jobs and the Atkins diet, there is no rush to turn my body in to ProcreationLand. If Demi can teach a prepubescent Ashton Kutcher (born: 1978) about the ways of the world, then what’s my hurry?

So when does the procrastination to adulthood end?

When single life at the beach is no longer fun.

For some, someday never felt so far away...

And so, I digress.

Joe Concha writes a weekly column for NBCSports.com and is a feature writer for www.hobokeni.com. If it rains even twice more this summer, Joe will be soon writing for Cancuni.com on a permanent basis.

Please send all comments, questions and corrections to features@hobokeni.com and we'll be glad to forward them.