It occurred to me today
that my junior prom was ten years ago. This realization quickly led me to the
"Where did the time go?? How did it go so fast?? Why can I no longer go jogging
without having to subsequently schedule several doctor's appointments??" stream
of consciousness that used to be reserved for what I considered adults. While I
feel I've almost reached adult status, I don't think I'll truly deserve the
title until I'm able to keep my room clean for more than three consecutive
days.
A lot can happen in ten
years, and a lot has. But the past decade has not exactly played itself out the
way I imagined. Mind you, I never had any specific master plan, but please -
when I was seventeen, twenty-seven was eons away and I had all the time in the
world to party, meet "the one," fall in love, get married, and maybe even start
thinking about having kids. In reality, it has turned out to be plenty of time
to party, fall in love, party, fall in love again, get a job in the city, move
to Hoboken, and party some more.
A couple years ago, I
started jokingly telling my friends that I would be getting married in 2012.
Well, with two years down and only ten to go, I realize there is a very good
possibility that by the time I do get married my prom dress may be back in
style
Let's face it, the whole
dating and relationship phenomenon is not easy - Pat Benetar's "Love is a
Battlefield" is no longer just a catchy tune, but suddenly seems layered with
meaning. And though this is true no matter what your geographic coordinates,
there is a difference between being single, and being single in the New York
area.
While practically every
girl I know from home (upstate) is either shopping for a ring, a wedding dress,
or furniture for the nursery, my friends and I are shopping for shoes,
handbags, and the ever-elusive perfect guy. The longer I live here, the chances
of finding the perfect guy in Hoboken seem about as likely as coming across the
holy grail on eBay.
Don't get me wrong, Hoboken
is a great place. I affectionately refer to it as the sixth borough (I mention
that a lot in conversations, hoping it will catch on). One of the best things
about Hoboken is the abundance of twenty- and thirty-somethings, contributing
to a lively and thriving nightlife. However, this very abundance of young,
available singles is part of the problem, at least from a girl's point of view.
Allow me to explain:
Not to generalize, and
there are always exceptions, but by and large, females are usually the ones to
start looking to settle down first.
Yes, we like to party and
have fun and dance on tables, but we also like having a hand to hold, a
guaranteed date for weddings and holidays, and some security. Guys, on the
other hand, tend to focus largely on the efforts to have a good time, which can
be translated almost directly to the never-ending desire to hook up. Again, I
don't want to stereotype, but I've had enough guy friends to make that
statement pretty confidently. In fact, I probably don't even know the half of
it. Therefore, the fact that there is no shortage of attractive (or at least
well put-together) single women in Hoboken plays right into the natural male
tendency to continually be on the lookout for something "better." Let me put it
this way: have you ever seen a guy with access to a remote control actually sit
through an entire program without constantly flipping from channel to channel?
They’re worried they might be missing something - sure, Baywatch has hot chicks
in bathing suits, but maybe they're completely topless on Skinemax!
Even though it's been ten
years, I can remember my prom vividly - it was fun, beautiful, a great time
with my friends. I also remember our dates not-so-patiently waiting for the
party afterward, hoping all those rumors about the promise of prom night were
true. In the decade that has elapsed, when it comes to guys, very little has
changed.
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